Want to be looked up to/thought highly of

When we came to this world, we didn't know anything. We didn't have any needs except for a few very basic physiological needs. After 20 years or 30 years of living, we have formed many needs. This means that those needs are not innate, they are just learned.

One of the needs we have is that we want to be looked up to and thought highly of by people.

Why do you want to be looked up to and thought highly of by people?
I don't know. I just learned that.
how did you learn that?
I don't know.
Why did you learn that?
I don't know.

How did you learn it?
Can you remember, when you were young, if someone looked up to you, your parents would have a very pleasant attitude as if it was very good that you were looked up to, therefore you learned that it was good to be looked up to.

On the contrary, your mom would have a sour attitude if a moment ago a person didn't look up to you and now the person was left, as if it was not  good if you were not looked up to by a person.

How did it affect you?

Since I wanted people to look up to me and think highly of me, I would always try to seem capable and smart, this is fine. However, if I found that what I had done turned out to be not so smart or wise, I would tempt not to admit it, because I knew that if I admitted it, people would find that I was not so smart or capable as they had thought I was, they would look down upon me or think low of me. Since I didn’t want them to look down upon me or think low of me, I would  cover it and continue to do what I had been doing and don’t change it. In this way, I sacrificed the way to live a better life, I sacrificed a better life to maintain people’s favorable or good impression of me. It isn’t worthwhile.

It is OK that people to look down upon me or think low of me.  I don’t have to let people look up to me or think highly of me.