Four steps to recondition your mind for realizing your goals

Four steps to recondition your mind for realizing your goals

It is a self-enlightenment process.

If you love yourself,  please enlighten yourself.     ---Steven Tu


First, please remember that we can't control the outer world, we can only control ourselves. We can control our thoughts(if we have learned how to do that), we can control our behaviors and actions(what we say, what we don't say, how we say it, our facial expressions, our body languages, what we do, what we don't do, how we do it.) We influence the outer world with our behaviors and actions. Our behaviors and actions are just product of our thoughts. Our thoughts are generated from our mind. We're the reason for everything, if we're not the reason to create it, then we're the reason to maintain it. We should not blame an external factor for something, because it doesn't help us. We should be the force which creates a result we desire, or we should be the force to change an undesirable situation or result.

More accurately, since our behaviors and actions(or inaction) are just a product of our thoughts and thoughts are generated from our mind, we can say that our mind is the reason for everything, if our mind is not the reason to create it, then our mind is the reason to maintain it. Our mind should be the force which creates a result we desire, or our mind should be the force to change or improve an undesirable situation or result.

For our physical problems, our thoughts can directly(without through behaviors and actions/inactions) be the reason for it, either be the reason to create it or be the reason to maintain it.


Second, you need to realize that when we came to this world, we had a few basic physiological habits(like that when we were hungry, we would want to eat something, when we were thirsty, we would want to drink something, we sucked milk to satisfy both needs.) and we understood body languages. Besides both, we didn't know anything else or have any other habits.  This means that our thoughts and habits are not innate, they are just learned. Since they are leaned, they can be unlearned, they are not innate, they are not like our lungs, our ears which can't be removed from us. Moreover, we only unlearn the thoughts/habits that harms us, and replace them with better ones that can help us.


Whenever you feel that something is against you realizing your goal,  you try to deal with the hindrance(Something against you realizing your goal), you feel emotion from yourself, then you should use this method. So two factors together hint that you should use this method, hindrance(you from realizing your goal) and emotion.

When you have an undesirable emotion, you can also use this method.


The four stops to recondition our mind for realizing our goals are as below:

Step 1: Write a paragraph to remind you and let you understand that your thoughts, habits(except for a few physiological habits) and tendencies are not innate, they are just learned after you came to this world.

Step 2:  Write down the hindrance, and then ask "why". Have you ever proved a geometric statement with backward induction? This process is like that. You keep asking yourself why to force yourself why, and you try to answer your own why questions until you can only answer your question with "I don't know." This conversation traces the thought back to its root.

Step 3: With the root thought or habit from the last question in step 3, write down how it affected you(or how it affected you from realizing your goal.) Your thoughts causes feelings, your feelings cause behaviors and actions, Your thoughts can also directly lead to certain behaviors and actions, your behaviors and actions influence the outer situation and outcome. Write down this chain process. With this thought, how would you feel, what behaviors or actions would you have, how the behaviors and actions would influence the outcome, until you realize that the thought wouldn't do you any good but harmed you.

Step 4: Based on Step 3, you already know how your thought would affect you, you replaced it with a new one you're willing to adopt.

I've already given several examples in previous posts. More examples will be given in new posts.